The Vampire Diaries – “Promised Land” Review. Two Steps Forward…You Know The Rest

Season 5, Episode 21

Air Date: Thursday, May 8, 2014, 8/7c on The CW

RATING: ★★★★★

“It’s gonna be a busy day for me, Stefan. Time to strap on the hero hair.” – Damon Salvatore

The Vampire Diaries (TVD) hits a snag with “Promised Land.” Truth: I was bored through three-quarters of the episode. Truth: I may have watched “Promised Land” three times because I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Truth: I’m curious about the direction of the Traveler storyline but no longer care as much as I did. I’m feeling a bit blasé, what with the constant return to the love triangle story arc and the fact it’s taken everyone’s brain cells hostage. Why are people so focused on who’s loving whom when they should be ridding their town of the freaky body snatchers?

Mystic Falls, The Most Wonderful Place on Earth

Stop! In the name of love… Where is this mysterious coven?

Why, oh why, is Mystic Falls the center of the supernatural power hub? Markos (Raffi Barsoumian) and his crew have moved in and plan on making a home of the town laced with “spirit magic.” Gotta tell ya, not very exciting. What is interesting is Markos. He isn’t the typical bad guy. He has a game plan; he effectively executes said plan; and it doesn’t seem like he’ll be defeated. Even the Wonder Twins, Luke (Chris Brochu) and Liv (Penelope Mitchell), don’t stand a chance against Markos. So who will come to the rescue of our beloved Mystic Falls? Bonnie (Kat Graham) the powerless witch? The Hunter—Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen), for those who may have forgotten—with no one to hunt? My guess: an Original will have to come back into the mix. If I recall correctly, Rebekah (Claire Holt) is available.

Random Thoughts:

Torture seems to have become the norm on TVD. I can’t say I’m numb to it because I cringe every time someone is stabbed, punched, or tied to a basement post. It’s getting old and I’d like to see another, any other, method used to get information from the bad guy.

Why aren’t the doppelgangers healing the way vampires are supposed to? Does it make any sense that Stefan (Paul Wesley) and Elena (Nina Dobrev) both bleed without signs of it slowing? They are able to get up and walk around like all is well, yet a sliced wrist bleeds for minutes before having to be reopened. How convenient for the Travelers.

“I’m only gonna say this once; you two are miserable without one another so if you want to be with him, be with him.” Thank you, Doctor Stefan. Why does it take Elena’s former love of her life to point out the obvious? And you know it has to be killing Stefan to utter these words. He wants to be with Elena. He feels they are destined, yet he has the common sense to realize his brother and Elena belong together. Fated doppelganger lover rule be damned; Damon (Ian Somerhalder) will be back with his woman!

Will Liv come through when it matters most?

Enzo (Michael Malarkey) remains a fixture, one I hope will become permanent. I love his snark and wouldn’t look as forward to an episode of TVD as I do should he not be there with a cheeky comment. You know you love him too.

Funny and Memorable Lines:

“The other side is on the brink of collapse and I plan on pestering all of you until I’m safely returned to the land of the living.”

Do it, Enzo! Pester those pesky do-gooders! Um, yeah, so Enzo lets it be known that he won’t go quietly into that gentle night.

“… So escape from the netherworld is going to have to wait, until tomorrow!”

“I think he wants to be penciled in for today.”

Damon vents his frustration about having to multitask and Bonnie relates Enzo’s sentiments.

Luke to his twin Liv, in what turns out to be a hilarious comeback: “How was I supposed to know that Casper the English ghost would be a complication?”

Damon: “Ah, great. I’m gonna add ‘carry’ to the list of things that you can’t do well but that’s ok, you can pay me back with your salary from the Grille; if you wanna work a couple thousand years.”

Matt: “Why don’t you do us all a favor and start dating Elena again?”

Final Thoughts:

Not so easy to kill using mystical powers, now is it?

I’m ready for the darkness to come and suck away the unnecessary characters and plot lines that are dragging TVD down. Dobrev bores, Malarkey charms, and Somerhalder smolders as usual but I keep anticipating more. Next week’s finale should be good considering the ending of “Promised Land.” That’s got to get some reaction out of Damon. He’ll be pissed enough to find a real way to stop the Travelers. Or not. Let me know what you thought about “Promised Land.” Leave me a comment in the section below or hit me up on Twitter @ellemoe.

Tune in to The Vampire Diaries season finale next Thursday at 8/7c, only on The CW. For more on the show, visit the official site.

LIKE The Vampire Diaries on Facebook.

Follow The Vampire Diaries on Twitter, as well as the cast: @cwtvd, @ninadobrev, @iansomerhalder, @katgraham, @paulwesley, @zach_roerig, @candaceaccola, and @McQueeninchains.

Biography of the Author(Read Below)..
Latest Posts (view them )..

Elle

Writer, mother, realist, cloud lover, daydreamer, dessert enthusiast, sweet tea addict, perfectionist, and lover of life and Christ, but not in that order. http://www.fanfiction.net/~vikingloverelle