Air Date: Sunday, June 26, 2011 9 PM ET/PT
Sookie in la-la land. I mean, with the fae.
Waiting sucks. And that’s not the only thing. We’ve already had the opportunity to glimpse the first eight minutes of the premiere episode of True Blood and they aren’t very impressive. They do impress something upon me but I prefer to keep this review profanity free. In fact, I want my eight minutes back and maybe even a few more because they were horrible and turned me off watching the rest of the show. Is this what we’re in for? I mean, I get wanting to do something outrageous, but cheese is just cheesy. I thought premiere episodes were supposed to excite and titillate viewers so they want to come back for more. I’m not sure who suggested going so far outside the box that the mark was completely missed and bypassed exponentially, but I hope we are not ever subjected to such buffoonery as light glo fruit and creepy evil fairies again. Oops, I spoke too soon.
Seriously, I know people who won’t subscribe or renew their subscriptions to HBO simply because of those first few minutes. Just imagine if the rest of the episode reeked with the stench of overzealous writers who wanted to do something funny (?), different (?), and/or weird (?) for shock value. Well, we were shocked and not in a good way. Honestly, the blurb in the opening credits should read: “Loosely based on and not intending to remind anyone of the Sookie Stackhouse Novels.” That would be more accurate.
Lafayette doing his Mr. T impersonation
On to the rest of “She’s Not There.” It’s been a year since Sookie (Anna Paquin) left Bon Temps (how convenient) and boy have things changed. I didn’t expect that but it wasn’t the only unbelievable thing. Paquin’s tears over her “Granddaddy” were very poorly acted. I expect more from her and I swear if she cries like that anymore this season, I won’t be able to watch. It was painful. At least her brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is the same as he used to be. Sort of. “We thought one of the vamps did you in. Bill or, or maybe that crazy tall one.” We know who he’s referring to of course. The last time we saw Bill (Stephen Moyer), he was scrapping with the Queen of Louisiana (Evan Rachel Wood) who appears to be no more. Say it isn’t so! His Majesty William Compton? I’m not buying it. I don’t understand it and I thought something was wrong as soon as Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) obeys his command to leave Sookie’s “house.” Yes, the quotes are necessary as you will find out.
Some really strange things pop out at me during this episode. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) looks like Mr. T. That is not a compliment. Tara (Rutina Wesley) is definitely not the girl we know but at least her hair growth has been explained. And it seems Sam (Sam Trammell) has finally found a place where he belongs. While that’s all fine and good, what the hell happened to my show? The nuggets hidden among the show are interesting, but not mindboggling. I’m used analyzing an episode and digging deeper to see what subliminal messages are hidden, such as the parallel scenes of Eric and Bill speaking to the public to improve vampire/human relations.
Funniest lines of the episode:
Hoyt to Jessica: “You think bleeding out into your mouth wasn’t gross for me at first? You get used to it.”
***
Nan Flanigan to Pam: “I have proof; scientific. People are far dumber than they realize.”
***
Tommy to Sam: “How’s that anger management class?”
Sam to Tommy: “Might need to go more often.”
***
Pam to Jessica: “Toilets are for humans only. Do I need to explain why?”
Sheriff Northman, the vampires' best PR rep
The best part of the episode would have to be the very ending. “Sookie… You. Are. Mine.” Four words we loyal readers of the Sookie Stackhouse Novels have been longing to hear. Now while I didn’t expect her to say, “Yes, Eric. As you wish,” it would have been nice. Hey, there was glowing fruit in this episode so I do believe stranger things could happen.
For what it was, it was okay. I just expected more from a premiere as highly anticipated as this one. But, the ending did make me want more. Just not of everything. Most of what was aired was mediocre and not up to True Blood’s usual standards. I don’t know what to expect anymore and I can’t say that’s positive. Speaking of positives, I’m most impressed with Marnie (Fiona Shaw). She blew me away and I can’t wait to see what else she brings to the table. Shaw is definitely one to keep an eye on this season.
If you are interested in checking out the second episode a week early, make sure you sign up at www.hbogo.com to watch.
Tune in to True Blood, Sunday nights at 9 pm ET/PT. For more on the show, visit http://www.hbo.com/#/true-blood .
All photos courtesy of John P. Johnson/© 2011 HBO. All rights reserved.
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