Review: Rescue Me, S7, E8 - "Vows" - Your Entertainment Corner

Air Date: Wednesday, August 31, 2011, 10:00 pm ET/PT on FX

Rating: ★★★★★★

As the penultimate episode of Rescue Me, “Vows” hits its mark, and then some. I don’t remember when I laughed at an episode of any show as much as I laughed throughout “Vows.” I hope you’re not easily offended by politically incorrect jokes—especially Mexican ones—because if you are, tune out now. Something tells me though, if you’re a fan of Rescue Me, you won’t. But, while the jokes abound, the episode leaves me crying.

It’s Colleen (Natalie Distler) and Black Shawn’s (Larenz Tate) wedding day. As the guys sit and wait for the wedding party to walk down the aisle, Sean (Steven Pasquale), Mike (Michael Lombardi) and Lou (John Scurti) are having a good time cracking wise. I’m trying not to laugh because their jokes are so offensive, but I just can’t help myself. May I just ask – what the hell is Needles (Adam Ferrara) wearing?! The wardrobe department probably had to search far and wide to come up with his black Nehru jacket. (Look it up on the internet if you don’t know what it is.) I about choked on my coffee when Lou asks, “Does it come with a gay Asian lover or do you have to provide that yourself?”

Tommy pleads with Colleen to let him walk her down the aisle. Poor Tommy. He hasn’t had a thing to drink, he’s been to three AA meetings this week and still no one trusts him. Janet (Andrea Roth) tells him, “We’re all afraid you might pass out.” While I feel bad for Tommy, I understand everyone’s reasoning. Tommy always passes out during stressful events. But Tommy is not to be denied. Just as Colleen and Uncle Teddy (Lenny Clarke) begin the wedding march, Tommy struts right up and grabs Colleen’s other arm, making her the rose between two thorns. What’s funny is how both Colleen and Uncle Teddy look like amateur ventriloquists, repeatedly asking Tommy if he’s ok through clenched teeth, with grins plastered on their faces as they walk down the aisle. While Tommy makes it, he does swoon a bit before handing Colleen off to Black Shawn. And this all happens before the opening credits!

It’s hard not to drink in a party atmosphere, and a wedding is the party of all parties. Given that Tommy, Uncle Teddy, Father Mickey (Robert John Burke) and Tommy’s sister Maggie (Tatum O’Neal) are all alcoholics, someone has to set some rules. So Sheila and Janet lay down the law.

Sheila: “Hey! There is going to be no drinking at all, ok, because I did not pay for this whole shebang so you guys could get shit-faced, start insulting people, sleeping with waitresses and giving drunken speeches. Right, Janet?”

Janet: “Right. That’s all we need – a bunch of drunken Gavins getting into fist fights, breaking windows and making Mexican jokes.”

Maggie: “Why would we tell Mexican jokes?”

Uncle Teddy: “Shawn’s mother’s a wetback.”

It is painful watching Janet and Tommy trying to connect with Black Shawn’s parents. The lulls in the conversation are so awkward, you can sense how uncomfortable everyone is. Lou puts his foot in it though when he ambles up and asks, “So, Colleen and Shawn’s kids – what color do you think they’ll be?” Um, stick your foot in your mouth lately Lou? He compounds it by saying he and Tommy had been discussing the topic a few weeks ago! I had a good chuckle when Tommy calls President Obama’s lips purple as he stumbles around with an answer to Shawn’s mother’s question.

It’s toast time! Just as the best man gets up to speak, a very drunken Sheila runs over and grabs the mike. I know most people know how funny drunks can be, but let’s not forget the very sad and maudlin drunks. Kudos to Thorne for her portrayal of drunk Sheila. She nails it as she moves seamlessly from funny to sad, even falling asleep on her feet for a few seconds. Her shining moment comes when she calls out Tommy and Janet to renew their vows, right then and there. Her jumping up and down, yelling “We want a wedding! We want a wedding” reminds me of the young Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon yelling “Attica! Attica!”

After everything Tommy and Janet have been through, it’s wonderful to hear such beautiful, heartfelt vows. We knew Janet wanted Tommy to quit the firehouse, but including that in the vows Tommy must repeat is very sneaky. As a disappointed Janet walks away when Tommy hesitates, Tommy’s daughter, Katy (Olivia Crocicchia), threatens him, “I’m going to start drinking and take a job as a prostitute,” immediately forcing Tommy to agree to Janet’s demand. Can he possibly mean it? It’s who he is. How could he possibly live without fighting fires every day? Tommy is not the type to be happy with a desk job.

Some funny lines at the wedding:

Mike: “Shawn’s parents are like really nice, aren’t they?”

Sean: “Yeah, aren’t they? His father’s really black though, ya know. I don’t mean in attitude; I mean in color.”

Lou: “He’s not that black.”

Sean: “Lou, when I met him, I had to stop and make sure my eyes were open.”

***

Sean to Mike: “Hey, why can’t a Mexican become a firefighter? Because they can’t tell the difference between José and Hose B.”

The wedding is over and the guys are back in firefighting gear. They answer a call at a burning building. What happens next leaves me in tears as a major explosion rings out, some ominous words are spoken and the screen fades to black. Is this the way our beloved firefighters are going out after seven seasons?

Tune in to Rescue Me, Wednesday, September 7^th at 10:00 pm ET/PT on FX for the final episode of the final season, “Ashes.” Let’s hope the name of that episode isn’t too prophetic.

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Linda

Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!