THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:3 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jacqueline Laurita, Teresa Giudice, Caroline Manzo, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga -- Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo
Finally, we’re done with the drama known as Danielle Staub! I had gotten to the point last year when I seriously considered giving up RHONJ. From the looks of the season opener, though, there will be plenty of drama this year with the addition of Kathy Wakile and Melissa Gorga, both of whom are related to Teresa Giudice.
New Housewive Melissa Gorga
“In the Name of the Father” begins at the christening of Joe and Melissa Gorga’s son, Joey. Joe is Teresa’s brother. Teresa goes over to Joe and Melissa’s table to congratulate them on the christening and all hell breaks loose! To uncover the root cause of their animosity, the show takes us back one week in time.
Teresa Giudice
After last year’s bankruptcy, Joe now runs “Guiseppe’s Homestyle Pizzeria.” Teresa is “bringing home the bacon” as she says, with her new book, “Skinny Italian.” Albie, 25, and his brother Christopher, 22, take their parents, Caroline and Albert Manzo, along with 23-year-old sister Lauren to see the new apartment they rented in Hoboken, NJ. Unfortunately, Albie’s previous hopes of law school hopes were crushed, but he seems to be handling it well. Having read about some of Albie’s antics since last season, who knows what’s in store! This may turn out to be a lot of fun now that mama Caroline isn’t looking out for them 24/7! Looks like Caroline is going to have a hard time dealing with the fact that she only has one child at home now.
Jacqueline Laurita
Jackie and her daughter Ashley have moved on as well. Jackie is proud of Ashley who now interns at Lizzie Grubman PR firm; however, after visiting her at the office, Jackie learns from Lizzie that Ashley doesn’t come in every day. Seems spoiled brat Ashley hasn’t changed that much after all. She actually stands there whining about commuting and then asks her mother to pay for an apartment in the city for her! (Come on, Ashley, you can’t even go to your intern job every day and you expect your parents to pay for an apartment for you? ) Thankfully, Jackie tells her to go get a paying job! Can you believe the little tart actually cried at that!? Thank God, Jackie’s husband Chris is the voice of reason at lunch later that day.
Melissa and Joe Gorga have been married for five years and seemingly are very happy. I have to agree with Melissa that Joe is very hot. He’s also a developer, the best one in New Jersey according to Melissa, and last Christmas, he surprised her with the plans for a 15,000 acre home. I have to say it is some mansion! Try as she might to be friends with her sister-in-law Melissa, Teresa was turned away. It seems the problem stems from the fact that Teresa never told Melissa how beautiful her new home was, and how competitive the two became after Melissa and Joe married. Just what we need, more people who need to grow up. Melissa is one of those old-fashioned Italian girls who stays at home, makes sure dinner is on the table when her ‘man’ returns home from work, the kids are well-taken care of, and keeps a clean house. As she puts it, “I was always told to be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom.” Pardon me while I vomit. (Although I have to admit, I’ve heard that statement before!) Have these ladies never heard of the women’s movement? I guess that doesn’t matter when you’re married to an old-fashioned Italian man. I wanted to kill Joe when he tells his son Gino cleaning up is for the women! Jerk-off!
Kathy Wakile
New housewife, Kathy Wakile, who is Teresa and Joe Gorga’s first cousin, pays a visit to Melissa and Joe in the midst of preparing for their son’s christening. Apparently, Kathy and Melissa are more like sisters than cousins-in-law. We get a little insight into Joe’s feelings about his sister at lunch with the two ladies, when he says, “She’s got a new family.” Imitating Teresa, he continues with “Jacqueline and Caroline, they’re my family. Is it family? I don’t think so.” As a matter of fact, the three of them seem to have very hurt feelings over Teresa’s lack of family togetherness with them. If she really does shun them, I don’t blame them one bit. But we only have their point of view at this point.
At Kathy’s house, we meet her husband Rich. They’ve been married for 19 years. Surprisingly, Rich isn’t Italian, he’s Lebanese. And as Kathy describes him, “you either love him or you don’t. Sometimes, he can get a little kooky.” I can’t wait to see what she means! They have two children, Victoria, age 16, and Joseph, age 14. Victoria is “bubbly, sparkly, but you know what, don’t mess with her.” Joe is a “sweetie pie.” Um, why is he playing with a collection of knives on his bed then? The two kids seem very close, although they do have their share of fights.
So, finally, it’s the day of the christening and already there are problems. Teresa’s hair stylist is at Melissa’s house doing her and her sisters’ hair, so obviously Teresa’s going to be late to the church. Knowing the hair stylist would be late, why didn’t Teresa just get someone else to do her hair? Teresa’s daughter Gia has a gymnastics competition so her coach is taking her. If you miss a meet, you’re kicked off the team, Teresa explains. I just knew this was going to come back on them at the christening. And sure enough, it did.
Over at Melissa’s, Kathy says she hopes the christening will reunite the family, but from the looks of what went down at the beginning of the show, that’s not happening anytime soon. Joe Giudice, Teresa’s husband, is fooling around in the garage instead of getting dressed. He wants Teresa to go to the church and come back later to get him – his stomach is bothering him. Teresa seems ok with that, because now she doesn’t have to take the baby with her. “It’s too much without daddy.” Apparently, the problems between Teresa and her brother Joe go even further than what we’ve already seen. Joe Gorga resents the amount of time his father spends with Teresa’s husband. Oh come on now, is this even real? It sounds to me like two whiny brats squabbling over who gets the most attention from the parent.
At the church, Melissa is already noting that Teresa isn’t there. The ceremony has begun when Teresa, with the remaining two girls, enters the church. To me, however, it looks like the christening is over. Teresa tries to make baby Joey laugh for the pictures, and then she kisses her brother on the cheek and says “Congratulations.” Melissa, however, is upset Gia wasn’t pulled out of her competition, and Joe isn’t there. “Family comes first,” says Melissa. To tell the truth, I probably would have been pissed too.
What a party! It’s being held at The Mansion, the Manzos’ place, which we all know is well-known for its lavish affairs. Melissa hand-picked the cake (huge, with a large blue cross in the frosting), and the ice sculptures (one shaped like an enormous cross). On a day as important as this, I can’t believe she’s talking about how much better her parties are than Teresa’s. Talk about catty! Teresa and Joe, now with all four girls, finally show up, and Teresa seeks out her brother. Before that, however, Joe Gorga tells Joe Giudice and the surrounding men, to have a celebratory shot with him at the bar. Because his stomach isn’t doing so well, Joe Giudice declines, saying he hasn’t had anything to eat yet. Joe Giudice should know better – you don’t turn down a shot when it’s offered at a party.
Caroline Manzo
At the Manzos, the kids have cooked a Southern-style dinner to which Jackie and Chris have been invited. I couldn’t believe how embarrassing Caroline was when she flat-out asked Lauren’s boyfriend Vito when he was going to pop the question! And then the rest of the family chimed in! But it seemed like everyone was having a good time as they teased one another, so who am I to say? Surprise, surprise, Christopher’s not going to be working at the Brownstone anymore! His dad Albert wants him to find out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. As Caroline puts it, “Life is one big test. So welcome to life, my friends.”
Back at the party, as Teresa and her husband dance, Joe Gorga explains how he feels about his sister. “I’ve overlooked many things she has done over the years, like excluding me and my family in her events. She is competitive with my wife and, you know, I don’t accept a lot of things her husband does. I mean, I will work to give my family everything and, you know, Joe doesn’t like to work, drinks a lot, hangs out with my father, saying ‘Oh look at your son, he’s not around, he’s workin.’ He’s poison.” Geez Joe, tell us how you really feel! There’s a lot of bad blood between them, and Joe feels like the ball is in his sister’s court. As Gia’s godfather, though, he says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
Melissa can’t believe Joe and Teresa Giudice are dancing with baby Joey, because when she did the same thing at Teresa’s daughter Audriana’s christening, Teresa grabbed the baby out of her arms. Joe Gorga tells Melissa to say what she wants to from now on, he’s tired of telling her to keep quiet. It’s a shame really, because the two Joes grew up together and were good friends.
At this point, we’re taken back to the beginning of the episode when Teresa tries to congratulate Joe and Melissa Gorga at the dinner table on Joey’s christening. She bends over to talk to them, and they both want to know why she’s saying congratulations now. Joe even tells her to walk away. When Teresa doesn’t understand, asking “Are you kidding me,” Joe tells her numerous times, “Walk away. Just walk away.” Remember Teresa’s famous table-flipping from last season, or was it the first season? No difference. Well, I can see where she gets it from when Joe starts banging the table with his fist! For a minute, I thought he was going to overturn the table! I couldn’t believe how angry he got! What followed next is a sin and a shame, as my Italian friends would say. Joe Giudice, upon hearing what Joe Gorga is saying to Teresa, rushes over and tries to attack him! People swarm around, keeping the two men apart. As the camera pans to a Catholic cross hanging from a table decoration, Joe Giudice says, “I’ll f**king kill every one of you,” to which Joe Gorga responds, “Are you f**kin nuts?” Oh, the hypocrisy of it all. I have to say Joe Gorga goes absolutely crazy during this melee, screaming at the top of his lungs. All the kids are crying and Mr. Gorga, Teresa and Joe’s father, is pissed beyond belief. As the Giudices leave, Joe Gorga seeks out his dad and in one of the most heartbreaking moments ever, he cries over and over, “You’re my father, you’re my father.” Did I say I was glad Danielle Staub was gone because now we wouldn’t have to deal with anymore drama? Hah, what a fool I was!
From the coming attractions shown at the end of “In the Name of the Father,” the Giudices and the Gorgas attempt to heal the family rift, Jackie and Ashley continue fighting, Jackie’s ex-husband makes an appearance, and Caroline somehow gets into the mix. I love me some Real Housewives of New Jersey!
Tune in next week, Monday night at 9:00 pm ET/PT for RHONJ – “Drop Dead Gorgas,” a Halloween-themed episode filled with dramatic tricks but no treats.
All photos courtesy of Tommy Garcia/© 2011 Bravo/NBC Universal Media. All Rights Reserved.
Linda
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