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Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, S3, E9 – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas”

  • By

  • July 18, 2011

  • 10 mins to read

Airdate: Sunday, July 17, 2011 at 10:00 pm ET/PT on Bravo

Rating: ★★★★★

OMG, so much happens in “Twas the Fight Before Christmas,” I don’t know where to begin! There’s Ashley’s birthday party, everyone is decorating for the holidays, and of course, there’s the Gorja holiday party. Ok, I’ll start at the beginning.

Melissa putting the finishing touches on their Christmas tree

Despite the so-called cutbacks Teresa says she and Joe are making this year due to their recent bankruptcy, she, Joe, and the girls decorate a huge Christmas tree quite elaborately. In the spirit of teaching her girls you don’t always get what you ask for, Teresa asks them what Christmas means to them. In typical childlike fashion, Gabriela says Christmas is wonderful because of all the presents they get. And Milania thinks it’s ok to smack little one-year-old Audriana in the face because she throws an ornament. Yeah, these girls really know the meaning of Christmas.

It’s absolutely laughable how Teresa compares the media coverage of their bankruptcy woes to the type of media coverage Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are subjected to on a daily basis. Seriously, Teresa? Are you really going to compare your troubles to what a Hollywood power couple deals with? Thank heavens Joe is the voice of reason when he explains to her how he deals with all the stories. But then, he tells Teresa neither her cousin Kathy nor her brother was ever around throughout everything that’s happened to them, although he understands her feelings for them. Teresa is really blind when it comes to her husband’s feelings though, insisting “You love them too.” I hate the way Joe puts Teresa in the middle, telling her to concentrate on her immediate family – him and the girls – instead. To me, it appears Joe’s got a real hard on for Joey G, Kathy and Rich and I don’t understand why. It’s almost like he doesn’t want Teresa to reconcile with her family.

Joey and Melissa chatting with Caroline

Why on earth does Jacqueline continue to bend over backwards, coddling Ashley over a divorce that happened years ago? I’m not a monster, I know how hard it is for children of divorce. My own children went through it. But at age 20, Ashley still plays one parent against the other. And it’s obvious she still blames her mother. Ashley needs to take off the rose-colored glasses she’s wearing. Her father is the one who always disappoints her, not her mother. And even though she knows how good her step-dad Chris is to her, she still wishes their relationship was more like the one she has with her biological father. Kids! They can be so selfish. Here, Chris does everything he can for her – puts a roof over her head, feeds and clothes her, buys her practically everything she asks for – yet still, it’s not enough! She wants a good-time dad instead. She doesn’t realize how easy it is to be that guy, with no responsibilities whatsoever. OK, I’ll get off my soap box now. I guess this topic hits a little close to home.

Jacqueline and Chris throw Ashley a birthday party at Mt. Fuji, a kitchy Japanese restaurant. The Manzos are there, complete with Albie, Chris, Lauren and the boys’ roommate, Greg. There’s also several other family members, along with some of Ashley’s friends. How annoying that Ashley so rudely ignores her mom by texting her father almost the entire time Jacqueline is toasting her! Talk about a spoiled, privileged little brat!

They’re decorating for the holidays at Kathy and Rich’s too. I like Kathy. She’s down to earth and is very family oriented; kind of like Caroline. Were you as confused as I was about Kathy’s ornament choices? Since when do you use a Mardi Gras mask as the tree topper? To each their own, I guess. And I hope Rich isn’t serious about the outdoor decorations he’s having someone else set up being the only gift for Kathy. Say it ain’t so, Rich?

I can appreciate Caroline wanting to do something special for the kids this holiday, especially given the problem Lauren’s having adjusting to her brothers not living at home anymore. But the beautiful, sophisticated, black and white diamond bracelets created by her jeweler, Yanina Fleysher of Yanina & Co., seem a bit extravagant to me at $4,500 a pop. I was surprised to hear Albert say he’d wear it, because Caroline says he never wears jewelry.

I had a good chuckle watching Joey G setting up their (fake) tree. He and Melissa are worried about Teresa and Joe coming to their holiday party, fearing Joe may try to start something similar to the brawl at the christening that kicked off this season.

Party guest Scott Simpson, Joey and Rich having a good time at the craps table

I don’t know how the rich live because I’m not rich, but Teresa hires an event planner. For a Christmas party! Fabulous Fred, to be exact, and according to Melissa he’s “incredibly fabulous. He handles every ‘it’ party that goes on in New Jersey.” The picture he paints of what their house will look like when he’s finished is amazing. Two ice sculptures (one of her, one of Joey G) out front; two sets of live carolers in Victorian age costume; a casino in one room with two blackjack tables, roulette and craps and fake money with Melissa and Joe’s faces on the bills; a DJ on the balcony in the living room (yes, there’s an indoor balcony); a room that will be “a winter wonderland of desserts,” with lots of burning candles. Did I mention how elaborate Melissa’s home is? Then we find out the whole shindig is going to cost around $50,000! Who spends that kind of money on a Christmas party? To be fair though, everyone in attendance is expected to bring a wrapped toy for the children in the cancer ward at St. Joseph’s Children’s Hospital in Passaic, NJ. That’s a nice touch, if I must say so myself. But here’s an even better idea! Why not have a simple, traditional party instead of spending $50K, and donate that money to the hospital instead, as well as bringing the kids the gifts? Sometimes, rich people just can’t see past their own narcissism!

Finally, it’s party time! The Manzo boys arrive first, followed by Kathy and Rich, but Teresa and Joe are nowhere to be seen. Why? Joe is still in his recliner watching TV. He only reluctantly goes for Teresa’s sake. How scary is it, though, when he shows Teresa what he plans to do if anyone says anything wrong to her. That is a helluva kick to the punching bag! I sure wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that! This isn’t looking good.

Kathy tries to talk to Teresa to no avail

Caroline, Albert, Jacqueline and Chris arrive next and everything is going very smoothly. Even after Teresa and Joe get there, everything is good. Until, that is, Kathy approaches Teresa to say hello. I swear – Teresa just can’t help herself. She says she wants to repair her family but when Kathy says, “I just wanted to say it is very nice to see you, I hope that we can put things behind us,” Teresa responds with, “Oh, now it’s nice to see me, right? So it’s nice to see you too.” I really feel sorry for Kathy. The poor woman is in tears and rightfully so. It was just plain petty crap that should have been put aside.

And then there’s Joey, Melissa’s brother-in-law (yes, there’s yet another Joe in this family), who shakes Joe Giudice’s hand and wants to know when he’s going to pay him the thousand dollars he’s owed for repairing an air conditioner. What? Who behaves like this at a Christmas party? I really thought there was going to be a big fight, especially given the kick Joe demonstrated back at the house. But no, he’s still on good behavior, and walks away. I have to give him credit for that.

Caroline, party guest Kim Hiza, Kathy and Kim G right after Kim G arrives

But wait! Here comes Kim G and she’s got Monica Chacon in tow! Remember her? She’s the lawyer who is suing the Giudices. What the hell is Kim G thinking by bringing her here? She knows Teresa and Joe will be here. She just wants to start trouble. I swear – Kim G just lives for the drama. However, I must give credit where credit is due. When Teresa tells Melissa and Joey G she’s uncomfortable with Monica being there and to please tell her to leave, they accommodate her out of respect. First they tell Kim G though, since she’s the one who brought Monica. What a ration of shit she gives them! I can’t believe she is actually arguing with them over this. It’s their house after all. I have to give it to Monica though. She acts the complete lady and very nicely and calmly leaves when Melissa explains the situation. But shouldn’t Monica have turned down the invitation in the first place? I’m sure Kim G told her Teresa and Joe would be there.

So, there were no fireworks this week despite the episode title, “Twas the Fight Before Christmas.” But next week is an entirely different thing in “There Arose Such a Clatter,” as we get to see the end of the Gorja party. The Manzos come to Teresa’s defense and tangle with Kim G, and Albie and Chris try to throw her out of the party. Don’t you just love the holidays?

Tune in to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Sundays at 10:00 pm ET/PT only on Bravo.

All photos courtesy of Andrei Jackamets / © 2011 Bravo Entertainment. All rights reserved.

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Linda

Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!
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Linda

Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!