Airdate: Sunday, June 26, 2011, 10:00 pm ET/PT on Bravo
Rating:
With all the drama of the first six episodes, it’s about time we have a little fun. “Teresa’s Got a Gun” is a much lighter, funnier episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, especially when the Giudices, Manzos, and Lauritas descend upon the Giudice cabin in the Catskills. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
Jacqueline sure enjoys herself in this episode
It seems Teresa and Melissa have made up, if you can believe it. During their heart-to-heart at Jacqueline’s, I know they agree to let the past be the past and start over, but they’re still nitpicking. In all fairness though, back at home, Melissa tells Lysa she hopes Teresa is honest about starting over because if she isn’t, Melissa doesn’t think Joey G will give her another chance. I had a good chuckle over Melissa’s misuse of the word “draw,” when she comments, “To be honest, I think this is the last and final draw, to be honest with you.” Isn’t that supposed to be “straw,” Melissa? I guess that’s not as bad as Teresa’s “ingrediences” a couple of weeks ago. That Lysa though, I think she’s somewhat of a troublemaker. Did you see those eyes and the faces she was making when Melissa was talking?
Teresa invites the Manzos and the Lauritas to their cabin in the Catskills, although Caroline’s husband Albert isn’t going. Also invited are Joe’s parents and relatives, Teresa’s father and some Giudice family friends. I don’t blame Jacqueline for being worried about there being only one bathroom and two bedrooms. Where the hell are Teresa and Joe going to fit everyone?
Everyone's having a good time at dinner
I am as horrified as Jacqueline when I see the stuffed mounted animals on the wall. Sorry, I don’t believe in hunting for sport. And I’m equally freaked out by the number of guns and rifles the men have brought with them. Scariest though is Teresa shooting those guns. Thank heavens Melissa isn’t around! Could you imagine!? To top it all off, after a good deal of wine, everyone starts talking about oral sex at the dinner table, with Chris and Joe comparing how good Jacqueline and Teresa are at giving “bjs!” When Teresa asks, “Ain’t I good,” Joe responds, “I cannot lie. While you’re doing it, I tell you you’re good, but I lied.” TMI people! I mean, really! This is not my idea of dinner conversation! (Although it does make for a hilariously funny episode!)
Can you believe Teresa shows off a vibrating penis ring Joe wears when they’re in bed? Again, TMI! Don’t these people understand some things should just be kept private? Maybe Caroline can talk some sense into them. She finally arrives, along with Albie and Christopher and her friend Dolores. After a day spent taking target practice and riding four-wheelers (the men), and shopping in town (the women), all return to a pig roast. I’ve been a guest at an outdoor pig roast before and I have to tell you, it’s the best pork I’ve ever eaten. But like Caroline, I wasn’t interested in seeing the pig’s feet, rear end or mouth stuffed with an apple either. Her facial expressions really had me laughing. It was like she was at the scariest movie ever, peeking through her fingers!
Teresa making a pizza for the competition
Next is a pizza competition. I don’t know too many cabins that have a wood-fired oven. Joe thinks he’s going to win since making pizza is what he does these days. But Jacqueline is confident in her Nutella calzone. What? A Nutella calzone? I like Nutella as much as the next person, but usually as dessert, and preferably in a crepe. Teresa chimes in with a pizza of her own, offering up her secret to a good one. “A little bit of love, a little bit of spreading, a little bit of pushing.” Umm, use double entendres much, Teresa? Jacqueline is so cute and funny when she declares herself the winner, grabbing a small religious statuette to use as a microphone, and thanking everyone as if she’s just been awarded an Emmy®. She had me laughing out loud!
Teresa tries to find a date for friend Dolores Catania at the B&B Lounge
Later, everyone heads over to the B&B Lounge for some more drinking and dancing. Sorry people, but you have some very strange characters there. That doesn’t stop Teresa from taking over the microphone though, and asking if there are any eligible men there for Dolores. Needless to say, no one fits the bill, not even the guy who pops an eight ball out of his mouth. Eww.
Before wrapping up the weekend, Teresa and Joe take everyone to the chapel at the end of their driveway. Yes, you heard me right. Years ago, Teresa’s father-in-law built a chapel dedicated to St. Michael, a popular saint in Italy. While Teresa tries to have a moment of silence, Caroline and Jacqueline are giggling so hard, they’re making me laugh! I would have laughed too had I been there and saw the Blessed Mother holding the Baby Jesus by his feet! And did you see that weird-looking St. Michael? Caroline really cracks me up during her off camera commentary which she giggles throughout. “Twenty yards ago, you were shooting guns and then we’re going to chapel. To me, that’s funny. It’s like a whore going to church. It’s like the crazy weekend and then you got the chapel. You know what I mean?”
The ladies go shopping while the men stay home and play with their guns. Check out Teresa's coat and those hairy boots!
I have to take a moment here and comment on Teresa’s attire for the weekend. First off, what the hell are those hairy boots she’s wearing? And that green flowered headband? Come on, Teresa, you dress your girls in headbands like that! Dare I mention the strange looking fringed coat she wears to town? It looks like a mix between something a Native American and an Italian would wear.
Kathy has decided to open a small catering business for desserts now that the kids are grown. Her husband Rich wants to open a restaurant in a banquet hall instead. Kathy isn’t too keen on his idea although she lets herself be talked into it. What is it with these men? Why can’t they just support their wives instead of trying to take over? The Wakiles’ real estate agent takes them to see a few properties and the first one doesn’t fit Kathy’s bill. I got a good laugh when Rich comments, “I’ve learned her way’s always better. She’s a control freak.” Seriously, Rich? Wasn’t this your idea?
It’s Antonia’s holiday dance at the Fred Astaire Studio where she’s taking ballroom dancing lessons. Melissa has invited Joey G’s mother and the Wakiles to watch her daughter perform. The show starts and I have to admit, I am as surprised as the Gorgas and Wakiles with the strange looking people putting on the dance recital. Thankfully, little Antonia is third out and she’s just adorable when she “dances.” But come on, you call this ballroom dancing? I think Fred Astaire would turn over in his grave if he had seen these performances.
The episode ends with Melissa again saying she hopes it works out between Teresa and Joey. Me too, because I think they’ve beaten this horse to death already.
Tune in to The Real Housewives of New Jersey Sundays at 10:00 pm ET on Bravo.
Photos © 2011 NBC Universal Media/Bravo Network. All rights reserved.
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Linda
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