Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, S3, E10 - "There Arose Such a Clatter"

Airdate: Sunday, July 24, 2011, 10 pm ET/PT on Bravo

Rating: 4

Wow, these New Jersey housewives really know how to celebrate Christmas. First, it was Christmas at Jacqueline’s, then at Melissa’s. Now, it’s Christmas at the Manzos, and at Teresa’s. And it’s not even Christmas Day yet!

At the conclusion of last week’s episode, “Twas the Fight Before Christmas,” Melissa and Joey politely asked Monica Chacon to leave, which she did. This week, we pick up right where we left off. It’s pretty obvious Kim G is trying to stir the pot when explaining to Kathy the reason Monica left is because of Teresa. Lauren tries to quell the oncoming storm by telling Kim G to leave well enough alone considering how nicely things went between the Giudices and the Gorgas, and Kim G makes the fatal mistake of stepping to Lauren.

Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, S3, E10 - "There Arose Such a Clatter" 1

You know Caroline can you hear, Kim. Or is that the purpose?

The Manzos represent the true meaning of the word “family,” so Caroline, after overhearing Kim G’s conversation, takes it upon herself to keep crazy from happening. She asks Kim G to lower her voice and change her attitude – if for nothing else than their sons’ relationship. Chris Manzo and Johnny, Kim G’s son, are best friends. But you know Kim G can’t do that (bitch!) and the two women start arguing. After Chris and Albie escort Kim G from the house, Chris tries to talk to her but Albie and Alfred tell her to leave and Chris to go inside. Where was Kim G’s bodyguard this whole time? Shouldn’t he have been protecting his client? He should be embarrassed to call himself a bodyguard! But the real question is – why did Kim G bring a bodyguard to the party in the first place? Who does that?! Shades of Danielle Staub, that’s who! I’m sure you all remember who she is! Albert Manzo has the answer to that question. “People that expect to have a problem.” Exactly!

Thankfully, Melissa and Joey are ok with the Manzos kicking Kim G out of the party. Melissa understands why Chris and Albie went to their mom’s defense and puts her kids on notice they better do the same for her should the need arise. I feel bad for Chris though. All he wants is to keep the peace between his mother and Kim G. so his friendship with Johnny doesn’t go down the tubes. I don’t blame him. It’s hard when friends’ parents don’t get along. Thankfully, Johnny calls him and they agree not to let this affect their relationship. As I learned later from Caroline during Bravo’s Watch What Happens: Live, a few weeks after this happened, Chris had it out with Kim G, but you’ll be happy to know Chris and Johnny are still ok.

Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, S3, E10 - "There Arose Such a Clatter" 2

Caroline and Christopher having a heart-to-heart about Kim G

The next day, over at Kathy and Rich’s, their families have gathered to get ready for Christmas Eve dinner. Teresa and Joe aren’t there because Kathy never got a chance to invite them. It’s about then that Kathy’s mother/Teresa’s aunt Maria tells the story of how her husband and her brother didn’t speak to each other for years over a small misunderstanding. Kathy is so right when she notes, “History has a way of repeating itself.” You would think this family would learn from their mistakes. At least Kathy tried; Teresa is the one who turned her away.

Caroline goes over to New Jersey 101.5 to do her radio show, “Caroline Rules,” and brings family friend Dolores with her. Her topic of discussion for the show is divorce and raising kids. With Dolores being a divorced mom of two, she has plenty to offer the people who call in for advice. I found it a little strange when Jacqueline calls Chris and tells him to hurry home because Caroline’s show is on, but hey, who am I to say what Jacqueline and Chris should do! I did like seeing their dog, Santino, though – he’s so cute. I wonder why they chose to name him after Vito Corleone’s son. It all makes sense when a male caller wants to know what he could do to make his relationship with his step-daughter more meaningful. It’s Chris calling, talking about Ashley! Even though he’s called in anonymously, Caroline immediately recognizes his voice but plays along as she gives him her brand of sage advice.

“You know what…I mean…from hearing your voice, you couldn’t try any harder. Sometimes, you don’t know what’s in the mind of a child when they grow up in a, umm, divorce. But to me, you sound like you’ve embraced this child as your own, and that’s commendable and tremendous. Sometimes you’re the bad guy…it’s not easy to be that person and you have to be strong and you have to be diligent in what you say and what you do. She’s gonna turn around, I have faith…I think you’re a tremendous step-daddy and I think she should be grateful. Power to ya’.” I feel bad for Chris. He tries so hard.

Over at Teresa’s, they’re getting ready for Christmas Eve dinner, traditionally known as the Feast of the Seven Fishes for most Italians. I know; I’m married to one. I am astounded by what Audriana and Milania are wearing! They’re in matching dresses and it looks like they’re ready for a christening with their all-white, fluffy organza dresses. It’s cute the way Joe and Teresa’s father Giacinto tease four-year-old Gia about the blue sapphire ring some little boy gave her.

Joe to Gia: “I think he gave you an engagement ring.”

Giacinto: “When you gettin’ married? Next year?”

Gia, shyly: “No….”

Melissa’s kids are so adorable when she tells them Christmas is Jesus’ birthday too. As little Gino lies on the bed listening, Antonia questions her mom.

Antonia: “Every time it’s Christmas, it’s Jesus’ birthday?”

Melissa: “Yup. Isn’t that incredible?”

Antonia: “How old is he?”

Melissa: “How old is Jesus? I think he’s 89 years old.”

Antonia: “Happy Birthday Jesus!”

Caroline is also making Christmas Eve dinner. It’s a huge affair given she has ten brothers and sisters, and all the nieces and nephews are coming too, along with their parents. I can’t believe how many people are there! I’m a little surprised they’re not having the traditional Feast of the Seven Fishes. Instead, it looks like a modern day meal, with freshly made roasted peppers, thinly sliced fresh mozzarella, and pasta with a special olive sauce, that Caroline’s father made back in the day when they didn’t have the makings of a real Christmas Eve dinner. Chris and Albie are hysterically funny when they trash Santa, calling him a bum because he doesn’t shave, uses kids as child labor, and only works one day a year.

Albie: “I find nothing funny about a guy who exploits children, really it’s slave labor…And you know what, Santa? Work a whole year!”

Chris: “What is he doing from January to November? And you know what, they [the kids] have rights.”

The joking around continues when Chris talks about his and Albie’s New Year’s Eve resolutions.

“Al’s is to chill out. Mine’s is to care about other people because I really only care about me right now.”

He makes a big mistake, though, when he asks Ashley if she has anything to share. Looking directly at Chris, Ashley says, “My New Year’s resolutions; I have a few. For one of them, I want you to like me…I need to make him like me.” This prompts a serious conversation between the two, with Chris trying to explain he loves her, but doesn’t like a lot of the things she does. I don’t think Ashley understands when he tells her she needs to listen because, during camera time, she says, “I know he loves me but right now, he doesn’t like me. And I’ve done a lot especially these past three or four years that, um, I’ve screwed up a lot but, you know, I’m really not a bitch.”

Despite Joey G not being thrilled about going to Teresa and Joe’s for dinner, he and Melissa have decided to stop there before going to the Wakiles. Melissa doesn’t understand why Joey G feels that way and to be perfectly honest, neither do I. They all seemed like everything was ok when the Giudices left the Gorgas’ party. Joey G admits he doesn’t want to spend a lot of time there because he doesn’t really like Joe’s family. Again, it all goes back to the christening – he doesn’t think Joe’s parents should have gotten involved. I knew this love affair between the Giudices and Gorgas wouldn’t last! At least he agrees to go there for an hour. Joey G is full of contradictions though when in the car on the way there, he tells Melissa he loves Joe’s parents. I don’t get it with this guy. They all grew up together and loved each other, but he’s still talking about the ruckus at the christening. Let it go, for heaven’s sake! Put the whole damn thing behind you and carry on with your lives!

Thankfully, it appears everyone is getting along despite Teresa telling Melissa she’s dressed inappropriately. Come on Teresa, Melissa may be letting the twins hang out a little, but your skirt is so short, we can practically see your va-jay-jay! It’s really nice to see Joey, Teresa and their dad posing for a picture together–definitely memories of a better time. Seeing the kids together, playing and happy that Santa Claus (Teresa’s mom) made an appearance, makes Joey G realize, “It kinda felt like home. It made me want to forget how angry I was.” Finally! And as Joey G and Melissa are kidding with Gia, telling her what they’ll do to her “boyfriend,” you hear Joe in the background talking to his family about Joey G and Melissa. “I don’t give a sh*t about her. She’s a friggin’ animal. But listen, they’re family. That’s the way they are. They’re f***ng animals. Who the hell would want to be that friggin’ raccoon face over there? She’s a witch.” Oh no, another country heard from! I told you it’s not over.

Tune in to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Sundays at 10pm ET/PT only on Bravo. For more information on the show, including the housewives’ blogs, go to http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-2.

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Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!