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Now That’s What I Call A Battle! Review: Game of Thrones “Blackwater”

Air date: Sunday, May 27, 2012, 9PM ET/PT on HBO

RATING: 

“I much like my head, and I don’t want to see it removed just yet.” – Tyrion Lannister

The foreshadowing in “Blackwater” is epic! If you don’t believe me, go watch it again, then come back to discuss. War awaits the people of Westeros and when it comes ashore in King’s Landing, it’s gruesome, to say the least. Tensions are high; emotions run rampant; and nothing—for the most part—goes as planned. But isn’t that how things tend to go in war? While I wanted King’s Landing to avoid being breached, my overwhelming desire to watch a certain bratty King catch hell overruled any rational thought.

Observations and thoughts:

I didn’t realize Bronn (Jerome Flynn) could handle a bow and arrow too. The “sell-sword” surprised me at every turn and I enjoyed watching his story play out. I was a bit anxious to see if Bronn would go up against Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane (Rory McCann), and dying to see who would win. Alas, there was no fight but I suspect there might be one on the horizon. In any case, I’d put my money on Bronn even though Sandor could probably take him. Wouldn’t that be one hell of a fight?

“Fuck the king’s guard. Fuck the city. Fuck the king.” Words I never thought I’d hear Sandor speak. Bravo, sir! Bravo! His epiphany comes at such an interesting time as well. While he watches his men being slaughtered, you can see his thoughts flit across his face. Why has he put himself into service of a worthless king? Why be regarded as a dog and nothing more than dirt when he’s one of the strongest men in Westeros? So now that Sandor is heading to the north, what will become of him? This is the point where I began berating myself for not finishing A Clash of Kings, book two in the Game of Thrones series the show is based on, before this season started.

Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is so well poised. Even knowing he and his men face certain death, he’s brave, has his wits about him and remains cool. But what good does that do him in the end? Despite having an edge up in the battle, defeat looms just around the corner. We know he doesn’t walk away from the fighting unscathed, but can we expect to see the Lannister lord again?

Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) is nothing but a scared little boy and Gleeson flawlessly exibits the fear and terror a young king would experience at such a time. “What would you have me do?” But the emotions Joffrey displays occur just as Stannis’ (Stephen Dillane) ships make their way to King’s Landing. Joffrey’s eyes appear wet with unshed tears; his voice rises an octave; and he looks scared shitless. This is just what I expected of him; I wondered when his brave face would crack. How predictable! Too bad he doesn’t get to use his brand new sword, “Hearteater.” What a joke he is and what a disappointment. His actions will show his people just how great their brave king truly is; I’m curious to see if he’ll be overthrown.

“Traitors are a danger to us all.” Cersei (Lena Heady) is the epitome of what it means to be a bitch. There’s no kindness in her—she hasn’t a nice thing to say to anyone. (Not only is she mean, she’s abrasive and annoying as hell when she’s drunk.) I don’t know how Sansa (Sophie Turner) can stand to feign devotion around her. I’m trying to take it easy on Cersei because I hear her fear coming through her cruel words. She’s drinking like a fish in anticipation of her imminent death. So what is up with Cersei taunting Sansa with statements like, “if you’re ever to become queen?” Does she know something we don’t? No matter what Cersei’s thoughts may be, her motives are clear. She doesn’t have her precious brother and lover Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to protect her so she’s at wits end and will not be taken alive. What a harsh reality. Or is she simply being pragmatic? Whatever Cersei is, I applaud Heady’s performance. She’s made sure I’m teetering on the fence about my love or hate for Cersei.

As an aside, why was Sandor in Sansa’s chambers? Was he thinking of whisking her away or something more sinister? I don’t know what to think about him sometimes, though I don’t believe he would ever hurt Sansa.

The battle scenes are graphic, realistic and well done. The use of “wildfire” blows my mind and I don’t think I’ve seen a fight so well choreographed in a television series. Well done, HBO.

Memorable lines:

Sandor Clegane: “Any man dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fucking corpse!”

**

Tyrion to Sandor after he walks away from battle: “Can I get you some ice milk and a nice bowl of raspberries, too?”

**

Shae (Sibel Kikilli): “Some of those boys will never come back.”

Sansa: “Joffrey will. The worst ones always do.”

**

Tyrion to the men who lose their urge to fight: “They say I am half a man, but what does that make the lot of you?”

**

I don’t know what to say after watching “Blackwater.” Well, that’s not entirely true as I kept yelling, “What the heck?!” because I didn’t see the ending coming at all. I’m lost and excited for what the end of the siege means. But damn, did I miss something? I feel like I did. Thinking about the events of last week’s episode—if Arya (Maisie Williams) had gotten her wish and had Tywin (Charles Dance) stopped (read murdered), what would become of King’s Landing?

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