Genre: Horror

Director: Justin Price

Cast: Natassia Halabi, Gabriel Miller, Lassiter Holmes, Les Best, and Lisa May

Studio: Uncork’d Entertainment

Runtime: 91 minutes

Release Date: On VOD November 7

Rated:  Not Rated

Rating: ★★★★★

I’m going to start by saying I hate those “Elf on a Shelf” dolls. They’re just plain unsettling and I don’t understand why they have become so popular. So, upon discovering that someone decided to go and make a horror film based on these dolls, my first thought was, “Why?” How can you turn these holiday nuisances into a full-length horror film? But it worked with the Chucky movies, which satirized the popular “My Buddy” dolls in the 1980s, so maybe this could work too.

The Elf, written and directed by Justin Price, follows Nick (Gabriel Miller) and Victoria (Natassia Halabi), a couple, as they are preparing for the holidays. One day, when going through an old toy shop, Nick discovers an elf doll hidden inside an ancient chest. Unbeknownst to him, the doll is possessed by a spirit who unleashes a yuletide killing spree on his family.

I’m going to stop right here and take a moment to say this. Once the film ended, I sat and thought hard about one question. Is there anything good about The Elf? In the 91 minutes I endured, was there anything I could consider a positive?

This isn’t the friendly ‘Elf on the Shelf.’ Photo: Uncork’d Entertainment

Yes, there is. There are two things I can say positively about The Elf. One of those is that the CGI on the evil elf doll is not that bad considering the small budget. I’ve seen way worse effects in blockbuster films. The other is that the filmmakers were able to make this movie. They found actors, shot it on a camera, edited it, and released it for people to watch. So in that respect, I applaud the cast and crew for accomplishing what they set out to do.

And that is all the positives I have to say. From beginning to end, The Elf is a train wreck that you can’t look away from.

Unfortunately, the film uses every slasher trope in the book. False jump scares, a blizzard that snows everyone in, misunderstandings that lead characters into distrusting each other, and expendable characters who exist just to get killed off. Everything has a been-there-done-that feeling to it, and it’s unfortunate that Price feels content with sticking to the traditional horror movie formula.

The elf starts his attack.

Price’s script does try to develop some of the protagonists, particularly Nick, who suffers from PTSD-like flashbacks to a traumatic event from his childhood that occurred on Christmas. But even this attempt at characterization doesn’t feel compelling due to how predictable it is.
The performances from everyone are completely all over the place. From over-acting to an almost cartoonish level to being so wooden, it’s like watching a tree. And other times, it seems the actors almost know how ridiculous The Elf is and stop trying. There’s a scene where John (Lassiter Holmes), Victoria’s father, is attacked by the elf and it’s obvious that he’s laughing. If only the joy he was having could have transferred to the movie’s audience.

I know some readers will think I’m being too harsh. That I should relax, turn my brain off, and have fun with what it is. I understand not every movie can be Oscar worthy. I have a few guilty pleasures myself that some would consider to be trash. However, I require those favorites to at least be entertaining on some level, even if it’s a so-bad-it’s-good situation. Regrettably, The Elf is a complete bore to watch.

If this were a tongue-in-cheek movie that’s self-aware and tries to parody the popularity of the “Elf on a Shelf” dolls, the result might have been fun. But it’s not fun as it’s attempting to be a serious horror film. And it sets itself up for failure because the premise doesn’t work when you play it straight.

Nick makes an eerie discovery.

The Elf is also surprisingly incompetent on a technical level. There are scenes with overblown lighting, causing the image to look washed out. Another scene has visible smudges on the camera lens, making it obvious someone forgot to clean it. There are a few sequences that involve characters talking on cellphones and the editing in these moments is so poor and choppy, it’s kind of baffling.

The only reason I would recommend watching The Elf is if you’re someone who enjoys hate-watching films. Outside of that, stay far away from this one. You’re better off buying an “Elf on a Shelf” and staring at that for an hour and a half.

For more on this film visit:
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt7136736/

All Photos: ©2017 Uncork’d Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.